This is Suzi

I've been wanting to sit and write all week.

No words can describe the overwhelming crazy beauty of Brian's bone marrow, in a 2-liter bag.  Before I had a chance to see my husband in recovery, his sister sent a photo of his marrow (from a room 2 floors up, where it was about to be transfused into Tom Hopper) and I shuddered and the tears finally came.

I've been resisting this event since the day we heard Tom could make a full recovery thru a bone marrow transplant.  Brian said, "you know the donor will be me" and I dug in, mind and spirit. And body...arms crossed and full frown.  I know I had fear and anger, but it was hard to pinpoint why, and toward whom.  Fear has deeper issues, to be sure.  "Lord, you wouldnt take him away through this right? Right?" ...and "why Brian? He's already caring for his other dad" and more of the same whining.

One of my favorite phrases in the human language is "..but God"
I was afraid of death...but God brought Brian through, 2 liters short, and better than ever.
I was afraid I'd be angry at Tom Hopper...but God gave me compassion.
I didn't want to be in the cancer ward at Hopkins, being reminded of Jeannie's suffering and death...but God brought a chance to share my heart: a family waiting for their wife/mom to come thru the Whipple...helped me to remember that it WAS awful but, live or die, God was going to heal her.
I worried about being able to care for Brian well after the surgery...but God gave me my lovely sister and brother to help, and to bring joy and laughter to the whole event.
Brian felt beat up by his fathers...but his heavenly Father has been carrying him and whispering to him DAILY His thoughts, HIS plans.
Brian was concerned he'd take weeks to heal....but God has measured recovery out in perfectly palatable dosages.

If you ask Brian Hopper about any of this he shrugs it all off.  No spotlight, please.  So I turn it on His God..because Brian cannot argue with that. Ha!  And I say, despite the craziness of this blood sacrifice, Brian isn't down and he isnt out. He is at the gym even now, even as i write this, swimming and slowly jogging and getting ready for his running year.  God willing, he'll kick all your butts.  (except yours, Steve, you know who you are.)

And more spotlight, on my God of course, but highlighting, softly, the man standing next to Him- Guy Monteleone... Thank you for all this encouragement and support.  I have siblings who are friends. What more could I ask for?